Then and Now

Michael and I were laughing last night about how everything is changing for us. We're getting older, the boys are getting older, and things are different than they used to be. I think I realized it in a concrete manner on Monday during softball practice.

I've always gone to all of Michael's softball games, and brought the boys with me. I've gone from going to games as a newlywed, to balancing the blanket while I nurse, to chasing after exploring toddlers. Now, the boys are MUCH older, and they pretty much entertain themselves. When they're not cheering for Dad, they're at the playground playing. Since they're older, and more responsible, I don't have to worry about them as much as I did when they were toddlers.

Going to Michael's softball practice on Monday made me realize that I'm now one of the older, "wiser" wives. A lot of the wives of the guys on the team are younger, with toddlers. While I feel so blessed that I'm out of that stage, it's bittersweet. I really enjoyed that time when my boys were that age - but I'm glad I don't have to keep a constant eye on them. With most of the wives being younger, the conversations aren't as timely for me as well. I have to admit, it did make me feel a tad bit left out.

It also made me realize that I have a lot to offer to other moms. We were blessed with our boys being easy toddlers, but I do feel that I learned a lot during that time. If I can offer any of my experiences to help a new mom, then I welcome the opportunity.

I started writing years ago, to document the everyday events of our family. I was, thankfully, wise enough back then, to know that time goes fast, and it'd be golden to preserve those moments for future reflection. I'm so thankful I did. I hope that, in addition to conjuring up wonderful memories, I can share those stories with young moms. I want young moms to know that they are not alone in their adventures in parenthood.

Reading one of the stories again, made me realize that while things change, some things remain the same. Jake is celebrating a big birthday in a couple weeks, and is pretty excited about it. Christopher told me the other day that he was really happy. Smiling, I asked him what was making him so happy. His answer was "Because my brother is happy, and it makes me happy" The bond between our boys is precious, and thankfully steady. I realize that this is a bit longer of a blog entry than usual, but I just have to "re-share" this moment from years ago. This is what I wrote about the boys on June 4th, 2002. Jake was 4 years old, and Chris was a ripe old age of 2:

Bond of Brothers
I have been extremely blessed lately by the friendship forming between Jacob and Christopher. Christopher is getting to the age, where he's no longer a baby, in constant need of care. He's old enough to wrestle and play with his older brother, Jacob. Their play times have become more and more fun to observe. These times have become times that our boys are getting to know each other as individual people, not just the person they share a room with.
I think Jacob first noticed that Christopher was getting older a couple weeks ago. He and Christopher were playing toys like usual. Somehow, their playing was escalated to wrestling. Jacob was careful, as usual, not to hurt his little brother. Little by little, though, he realized that Christopher can take a lot. After a few minutes, they were in an all out wrestling match, complete with rolling around on the floor, pins, and giggles. When they were done, Jacob told me, "Mama, I'm so glad that Christopher is old enough to wrestle now!"
Their friendship doesn't stop at playing; I've noticed emotional support between them too. I think this is one thing that has touched my heart the most! Christopher asked to play with a certain toy today that he wasn't allowed to bring downstairs. When I told him no, he started to cry. When Christopher gets upset, he doesn't like to be near the person that made him upset. Coming to me for comfort in cases like that are out of the question. Instead, he went to Jacob. Crying all the way down the stairs, he ran to his big brother with open arms and flowing tears. Jacob met him halfway, and the two best buds brothers hugged. Jacob, in a comforting sweet voice asked, "Christopher would you like to sit with me?" Christopher agreed, and the two of them went to the couch to sit together. Christopher climbed up next to his big brother and cuddled with him. Jacob, again in his sweet voice told his little brother how much he loved him, and that he needed to settle down. That's all it took to comfort Christopher and calm him down.When I watch the boys in situations like this, I feel so proud of them. Jacob is becoming a very compassionate big brother, and Christopher is confident in his brother's love. What better friend to have as a little boy than your brother? Your brother is always there to play and be goofy with you, and your brother is always there when you need a little giggle or hug. I am reminded each and every day why God put these guys together as brothers, and I'm so thankful for His perfect plan. I'm also thankful that He allowed me to be witness to it!